46 Examples of Extremely Alliterative Headlines From Marvel’s Bullpen Bulletins Page Back in the 1970s
So I was reading a couple of Marvel comics from the 1970s recently — sort of a “reliving the wasted years of my youth” thing — and I couldn’t help but notice the alarmingly alliterative headlines for Bullpen Bulletins, that page of self-promotional news items that announced Marvel’s new titles, celebrated milestones in the lives 0f Marvel staff, and other fun stuff. I’d like to think more than one fan back then was sent scrambling for the family’s Funk & Wagnalls to find out with “mafficking” meant…*
1. Another Assortment of Action-Packed Ad-Libs and Astonishing Addendums!
2. Awesome Announcements and Autumnal Admonishments for All!
3. A Bacchanalian Bunch of the Brightest and Battiest Bullpen Bulletins Yet!
4. Bite-Size Bits and Beatific Bromides! (Or: Half a Bullpen Page is Better Than None!)
5. A Cacophonous Collection of Captivating Capsule Comments Calculated to Corral Your Consciousness!
6. Capricious Commentaries, Carefully Cooked Up to Confuse and Confound You!
7. Cerebral Comments and Cogent Critiques, Capriciously Created With Care and Candor!
8. Dietetic Doodlings and Dizzy Dispatches Designed to Delight!
9. Dramatic Data, Dynamic Dispatches, and Death-Defying Declarations of Decidedly Dubious Distinction!
10. A Dynamic Display of Dizzy Doings, Darling Delineations, and Dazzling Descriptions Designed to Dispel Your Despair!
11. An Endearing Ensemble of Editorial Errata For Your Enjoyment, Edification, and Enlightenment!
12. Fanciful Fact and Frumious Fables for Friend and Foe Alike!
13. Four or Five Phenomenal Flashes, Fitfully Fashioned to Fight Lethargy!
14. A Frantic, Frenetic, Fun-Filled Foray into the Fable-Fraught Fortress of Fandom’s Favorite Fraternity!
15. A Gargantuan Gallery of Garulous Goings-On Guaranteed to Garner Your Gratitude!
16. A Hearty Helping of High-Falutin’, Habit-Formin’ Happenings from Your Humble House of Ideas!
17. Hints of Hilarious Hi-Jinx and Homogeneous Happenings Happily Harvested for Heroes Like You!
18. An Idiosyncratic Itinerary of Intangible Illusions and Imaginary Ideas Intended to Illuminate Your Id!
19. Irrelevant Info and Inane Items, Illustrated and Inscribed by an Infinite Number of Monkeys!
20. A Jovial Jamboree of Jaunty Jingles and Jesting Jabs Jury-Rigged to Jettison Your Jim-Jams!
21. A Kaleidoscope of Kinetic Kibitzing and Kooky Kommentary Kenned to Kindle Your Karma!
22. A Labyrinthian List of Lambent Labors, Laudable Lagniappes, and Learned Legends Long-Lapsed into Looniness!
23. The Latest Low-Down on Marvel’s Light-Hearted Luminaries — for Literature Lovers at Large!
24. Memos and Meanderings from Your Mighty Muddled Merry-Makers!
25. More Merely Magnificent Marvel Madness Made to Move You to Mafficking!
26. More Messages, Memos, and Memoranda from Your Mixed-Up Marvel Minions!
27. More Mirth-Inducing Memorabilia from Memo-Minded Marvel!
28. News Notes, Nifty Narration, and Nutty Nonsense Not for the Narrow-Minded!
29. Notes and News on a Nestful of Nebbishes!
30. An Omnium-Gatherum of Odysseys Occult, Olios Odd, and Occasions Obbligato!
31. Paeans and Self-Plaudits from the Pundits of Pandemonium!
32. Plaudits, Pronouncements, and Just Plain Plugs — Pontifically Presented!
33. Pulsating Pronouncements and Pertinent Propaganda from the Pundits Who Play for Fun!
34. A Pulse-Pounding Palimpsest of Pajandrums Pure, Palaver Paradisic, and Paens Pandemic!
35. A Quaff of Quixotic Quips to Quench Your Quakes and Quandaries!
36. A Ragbag of Riotous Repartee for Our Resplendently Rarefied Readership!
37. A Scintillating Soliloquy of Stunning Stories, Sagacious Sagas and Senses-Shattering Super-Heroes!
38. A Testament to Tapestries Tempestuous, Tales Titanic, and Tableaux Treasured!
39. Of Ugsome Usurpers, Utopic Uncos, and Unearthly Utterances!
40. Of Vainglorious Vampires, Vanquished Villains, and Valiant Victors!
41. With Winsome Wags, Warped Wrongdoers and a Wandering Warlock!
42. Wondrous Words of Wit and Wisdom With Which to Waste Some Time!
43. Wondrously Witty Words from a Woomful of Wombats!
44. A Xylograph of Xenial Xenogogues and Xenodochial Xerrifs!
45. Yabberings and Yeddings from Yeoman Yarnspinners to You!
46. Zounds! A Zealful Zetetic of Zestful Zanies to Zap the Zeitgeist!
* An archaic British term meaning “to celebrate extravagantly and publicly.” You’re welcome.