“Be Warned, We Have the Full Nickelback Catalogue and We’re Not Afraid to Use It.”

star-trek-month
57 Other Pieces of Classical Music Considered and Rejected for the Big Battle Scene in Star Trek Beyond

Bones: [hears “Sabotage” blaring] Is that classical music I’m hearing?
Spock: Yes, doctor, I believe it is.

So were you one of the (very) few people watching Star Trek Beyond who wished the crew had picked a different piece of “classical music” in the big space battle against the alien swarm?

Well, you might be interested to know that I just happen to have a sheet of paper straight from Justin Lin’s wastebasket that has a list of all the “classical” compositions they considered until Lin and crew settled on the classic Beastie Boys anthem.

And so — for the first time ever and in no particular order — here are the actual songs that you might have heard in the movie instead of “Sabotage.” Believe it… or don’t.

1. The B-52s, “Love Shack”

2. Billy Idol, “Dancing With Myself”

3. William Shatner, “Rocket Man”

4. Leonard Nimoy, “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”

5. Billy Joel, “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

6. Lesley Gore, “Sunshine, Rainbows and Lollipops”

7. Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

8. Cyndi Lauper, “She Bop”

9. Devo, “Whip It”

10. Enya, “Orinoco Flow”

11. Harold Faltermeyer, “Axel F”

12. Katrina and the Waves, “Walking on Sunshine”

13. Nena, “99 Luftballons”

14. Def Leppard, “Pour Some Sugar On Me”

15. Queen, “We Will Rock You”

16. Tears for Fears, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”

17. The Who, “Baba O’Reilly”

18. Barry Manilow, “Copacabana”

19. Starland Vocal Band, “Afternoon Delight”

20. Rednex, “Cotton-Eye Joe”

21. Chuck Berry, “My Ding-a-Ling”

22. Mike Patton, “Porno Holocaust”

23. Starship, “We Built This City”

24. The Archies, “Sugar Sugar”

25. Green Day, “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”

26. Michael Damien, “Rock On”

27. Leonard Cohen, “Hallelujah”

28. REM, “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”

29. John Denver, “Take Me Home, Country Roads”

30. David Bowie, “Young Americans”

31. Roxette, “It Must Have Been Love”

32. Weird Al Yankovic, “Another One Rides the Bus”

33. Kenny Rogers, “Coward of the County”

34. Bowling for Soup, “1985”

35. Lynyrd Skynyrd, “Free Bird”

36. Baha Men, “Who Let the Dogs Out”

37. Daniel Powter, “Had a Bad Day”

38. Rebecca Black, “Friday”

39. Right Said Fred, “I’m Too Sexy”

40. Eddie Murphy, “Party All the Time”

41. Ricky Martin, “Livin’ La Vida Loca”

42. Styx, “Come Sail Away”

43. Ray Stevens, “The Streak”

44. The Beach Boys, “Kokomo”

45. The Captain and Tennille, “Muskrat Love”

46. Bette Midler, “Wind Beneath My Wings”

47. Celine Dion, “My Heart Will Go On”

48. Poison, “Every Rose Has Its Thorns”

49. Paula Cole, “I Don’t Want to Wait”

50. Limp Bizkit, “Faith”

51. Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods, “Billy Don’t Be a Hero”

52. The original theme from Star Trek with all the lyrics dubbed in

53. The theme song from DuckTales

54. The theme song from any ABC-TV TGIF sitcom

55. Anything played on bagpipe

56. Anything by Coldplay

57. Anything by Nickelback

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3 responses to ““Be Warned, We Have the Full Nickelback Catalogue and We’re Not Afraid to Use It.”

  1. Great post! I’m sorry that I haven’t been commenting for a really long time. I haven’t been able to thing of something eloquent and/or funny.

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